His name is Dandy Darlin, and if the truth I tell,
that fancy, pampered Quarter Horse has made my life pure hell.

My wife she used to cook for me, and serve it with champagne,
but now she`d rather feed that horse and fix his special grain.

He dresses better than I do, with blanket, wraps, and ties.
My wardrobe`s so neglected, that I attract the flies!

She rides him every morning, she grooms him half the night,
the last time that she kissed me, was just to be polite.

One day my wife was shopping, she`d gone down to the mall,
And fancy, pampered Darlin was standing in his stall.

He looked so smug and sassy that I began to grin.
I`d saddle that fat sucker, and take him for a spin.

I`v wondered since, if cues I gave he might have misconstrued,
For when I climed aboard that horse, He rightly came unglued!

He bucked and spun and snorted fire and flung me through the fence.
I saw big stars and lost six teeth that I ain`t heard from since.

The wife came home and found me A-LYIN in the dirt.
She kissed her horse and said to him "OH, Sweetheart, are you hurt?"

He`d scratched his nose a little bit-
The memory burns me yet-
She left me trampled in the dirt and to call the vet!